Deeper Commentary
CHAPTER 5
5:1 Therefore, as beloved children, be imitators of God- The
understanding seems to be that a child will imitate the one who shows
love. And experiments on babies raised in orphanages in Communist regimes
observed the same- the carer perceived as showing love was imitated by the
baby. The love we have been shown is in the gift of God's Son; it is the
cross, therefore, which elicits imitation or (Greek) 'mimicking' of God.
5:2 And walk in love- just as Christ also loved us and gave himself up
for us- As noted on :1, our exposure to His love is the basis for
imitating it, in the form of a life lived or walked in love. In His love
is the ultimate motivation to love. Do we struggle to live the life of
true love, to endure people, even our brethren; are we simply tired of
people, and living the life of love towards them? Does the past exist
within us as a constant fountain of bitterness and regret? “Let all
bitterness, and wrath and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put
away from you, with all malice: and be ye kind one to another,
tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake [the
sake of His cross] hath forgiven you... walk in love, as Christ also
hath loved us, and hath given himself for us" (Eph. 4:31-5:2).
A fragrant offering and sacrifice to God-
The peace offering was to make a sweet savour.
Through His death on the cross, the Lord was this: "Christ... hath given
himself for us an offering (a peace offering?) and a sacrifice to God for
a sweet-smelling savour" (Eph. 5:2). If we are in Christ, then God will
see us too as a sweet savour. And this is exactly what 2 Cor. 2:15 says:
"We are unto God a sweet savour of Christ". Yet we must fellowship His
sufferings if we are in Him, really fellowship them. The peace offering
was to have the fat and rump "taken off hard by the backbone" (Lev. 3:9).
The ruthless division of flesh and spirit within Christ (shown superbly in
the way His wilderness temptations are recorded) must be seen in us too.
We must ask if we are really taking off the fat hard by the backbone. Are
we even prepared for the pain, the pain of self- knowledge and self denial
which this will necessitate? For His love, His sacrifice, is not only
counted to us but is to be ours.
5:3- see on Josh. 23:7.
But fornication and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not even be
named among you- as is appropriate among saints- These terms are all elsewhere used about sexual
immorality, particularly in the context of cult prostitution. There was a
tendency to mix Christian worship with the prostitution of the surrounding
cults, just as there is for any Christian convert to mix their new faith
with previous concepts of religion. This was particularly a problem in
Corinth but clearly it was also elsewhere in the first century.
We need to let passages like Eph. 5:3–5 have their full weight with us.
Fornication, covetousness, all uncleanness should not be “named amongst
us”, in the same way Israel were not to take even the names of the Gentile
idols onto their lips (Ex. 23:13) – “but rather giving of thanks”, knowing
that those who do such things will not be in the Kingdom of God. The
Exodus allusion suggests that idol worship with its associated sexual
vices is what is in view in this passage, rather than young couples in
love 'going too far'. A thankful attitude, thinking and speaking of those
things with which we will eternally have to do, is to replace thinking and
talking about all the things which shall not be our eternal sphere of
thought in the Kingdom age. And yet our generation faces the temptation
like none before it – to privately watch and read of those things,
vicariously involved in them, whilst being under the illusion that we’re
not actually doing them ourselves. For this is what the entertainment
industry is based around.
5:4 Nor filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor crude joking, which are
not befitting saints; but rather the giving of thanks- Paul always
gives an antidote, a new channel into which to channel the energy which
would otherwise be expended on the forbidden action. Paul's vision for
personal transformation is remarkable; he envisages those accustomed to
coarse language instead using words of praise.
According to the New Testament, having a spirit of true thankfulness to
God in all things should help swamp our tendency to sinfulness; the
concept of praising God in gratitude should get such a grip on our way of
thinking that the thinking of the flesh is thereby suppressed. Eph. 5:3,4
states this in so many words. It reels off a list of forbidden sexual
thoughts and actions; and then the antidote is stated: "Let (them) not
once be named among you... but rather giving of thanks". A
few verses later the same medicine is prescribed; this time as the
antidote to an unsaintly abuse of alcohol: "Be not drunk with wine...
but be filled with the Spirit; speaking to yourselves in psalms...
singing and making melody in your heart... giving thanks always for all
things" (Eph. 5:18-20). This is a laboured, triple emphasis on praise as
being the antidote to drunkenness.
5:5 For this you know for sure, that no fornicator, nor unclean person,
nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom
of Christ and God- Eph. 5:3-5 has some surprises for the attentive
reader; the black words on white paper have an uncanny power: "This ye
know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man,
who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ". It's
easy to assume that the coveting is of a sexual nature. But frequently
Paul reels off a list of spectacular sins and inserts in the list one or
two issues we would consider rather common to all men and of a different
order of failure. He does this to highlight the seriousness of those
apparently lesser sins. The list of sexual perversions here are the sort
of words we whisk past, in the relieved confidence that they don't
apply to us. But covetousness is there listed as a carnal sin, along with
sexual perversions. That's how bad it is. No one who is covetous will be
in the Kingdom. And therefore it's hard for a rich man to be in the
Kingdom. In fact, the Lord says, it's humanly impossible for a rich man to
get there; it's only through God's gracious working to make it possible
that it can happen, that a rich man will scrape into the Kingdom (Mt.
19:23-26). Every one of us has the elements of covetousness very close
to the surface. Materialism is perhaps the direct equivalent of idol
worship under the old covenant. They were to not even desire “the silver
and gold that is on them… for it is an abomination to the Lord thy God…
thou shalt utterly detest it; and thou [like God] shalt utterly
abhor it” (Dt. 7:25,26). God despises idolatry; and we also must go a step
beyond merely avoiding materialism; we must despise it.
"This you know for sure" suggests that this hard line against covetousness
and idolatry was known by all Christian converts as part of their
instruction in the Gospel. "The Kingdom of Christ and God" is an unusual
phrase, as usually "the Kingdom of God" is spoken about. Perhaps the idea
is that God's Kingdom is also going to be that of Christ, and He should
therefore reign as King over His people, who should be devoted to being
Christ-like.
5:6- see on Mt. 24:4.
Let no one deceive you with empty words- This would be appropriate to a warning to better
control the platform and not allow false teachers to deceive the
congregation with vain words, words lacking in or empty of the Spirit.
For because of these things comes the anger of God upon the sons of
disobedience- Those characterized by
disobedience would surely refer to those who had heard the call to
disobedience and refused it. The wrath of God is coming upon them in
particular at judgment day. Paul may well have in view "the wrath to come"
upon Israel in AD70 (Lk. 3:7; 1 Thess. 1:10; 2:16). In this case, "the
sons of disobedience" would be the Jews, and those claiming they would not
be so judged would be Judaist false teachers, who clearly were the big
problem for Paul's churches.
5:7 Therefore do not associate with them!- Being "parkers" (AV)
with those who are not Kingdom people is the opposite of being partakers
in Christ (Heb. 3:14) and of the Holy Spirit (Heb. 6:4); we are partakers
in the promised Holy Spirit (Eph. 3:6). If we partake in Christ, then we
partake in His Spirit. To partake in the spirit of the world is therefore
impossible if we are partaking in His spirit. This contrast with the way
of the Spirit would explain why in the AV, :9 starts talking about the
Spirit as if this is in view in the context: "For the fruit of the
Spirit..." (AV).
5:8 For you were once darkness, but are now light in the Lord. Walk as
children of light- This is another example of appealing for us to live
in practice who we are by status. This is why Romans progresses from
talking about imputed righteousness and our status in Christ, to the
language of the Spirit actually transforming us in practice into who we
are by status. Although the readership were not walking as children of
light, yet Paul says that there were "now light in the Lord", and no
longer in darkness. He surely refers to their status rather than
actuality, and appeals for them to live according to the status they have
been granted by grace. Likewise he says that every believer at
Thessalonica was one of "the children of light" (1 Thess. 5:5) when
clearly there would have been some finally who were not. But they were
counted that way by status.
At times it seems Paul 'unconsciously' uses a phrase from the
parables, out of context, but as an indication that they were running
through his mind (e.g. "children of light" in Eph. 5:8; 1 Thess. 5:5 is
quarried from Lk. 16:8).
5:9 For the fruit of the light is in all goodness and righteousness and
truth- Some manuscripts, followed by AV, read "the fruit of the
Spirit". This may seem out of context, but I have argued on :7 that the
entire argument here is an appeal for the Spirit rather than the flesh to
be the dominant principle in Christian thought and behaviour. All kinds of
goodness and truth are the fruit of the Spirit. A way of life is elicited
by the Spirit / light. Light is not therefore merely correct understanding
of some doctrinal points. Our participation in the Lord Jesus (:7) will
elicit a life and thought pattern like His.
5:10 Proving what is well-pleasing to the Lord- "Proving" can mean
'experiencing'. I have argued on :7 and :9 that the context here is of the
movement of the Spirit. The same Greek words for "proving" and
"well-pleasing" / 'acceptable' are to be found in Rom. 12:2: "Do not
conform to the mould of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of
your mind, that you may experience [s.w. "proving", Eph. 5:10) what is the
good and acceptable [s.w. "well-pleasing", Eph. 5:10] and the perfect will
of God". The renewing and transformation of the mind / spirit is the work
of the Spirit gift which we accept at baptism into the Lord Jesus. Here in
Ephesians Paul is asking us to allow the Spirit free course, to
experience- for this is the way to transformation in practice, rather than
by trying to force our flesh to change by steel willed self control.
5:11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but
rather reprove them- "But rather reprove them" continues the theme so
often seen in this section- of redirecting mental and spiritual energy
from sin towards positive spirituality. Not sharing in the works of
darkness is one thing; but enforcing our separation from wrong doing is of
itself negative. The positive thing is to redirect that mere avoidance of
sin into actually trying to save the sinners. Having written here of light
and darkness (:8), perhaps Paul's mind is in Jn. 3:20, which says that the
light is what reproves. If we are of the light we will naturally reprove
the darkness; so this is an appeal in another form to live as light. Verse
13 will make this point explicitly- it is the light which reproves. I have
argued throughout this section that Paul is urging us to live the life of
the Spirit rather than the flesh; and it is by the Comforter, the Holy
Spirit within us, that we reprove the world of sin (Jn. 16:8; 1 Cor.
14:24).
5:12 For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in
secret- The sin of Ham in relation to Noah's drunkenness included the
fact that he told his brothers about Noah's shame (Gen. 9:22). This
incident seems to be alluded to by Paul when he says that it is a shame to
speak of what sinners do in secret. A large amount of the communication
which would be called 'gossip' includes the communication of sinful things
which would be better not entering the minds of saints in any case- one
tends to gossip about a neighbour's adultery rather than his lost cat. So
the appeal here is to rebuke such wrong behaviour- but directly to the
person responsible, and not by way of gossip. Nothing of course is
ultimately done "in secret", so [as so often in the Bible], this is
recorded from the mistaken perspective of the persons involved, without
specific correction. The language of demons is another example.
5:13 But all things when they are reproved are revealed by the light.
For everything that is revealed then becomes light- The day of
judgment will be the ultimate bringing to light and manifesting of all
supposedly hidden things (Mk. 4:22; 1 Cor. 4:5 s.w.). But we ahead of that
time are used to reveal the hidden things; because light reveals, and we
are the light of the world. But this is no call to become the Lord's
forensic policemen, ever intent on uncovering the failings of others and
constantly investigating vague hunches or conspiracy theories. Light
reveals hidden things quite naturally; we as the light of the world by our
nature and example will reveal and thereby reprove that which is in
darkness. Likewise the revelation of human sin at the last day will
largely be through the fact of sinners being in the personal presence of
the Lord Jesus, just as happened during His ministry. His presence and
personality of itself convicted people of their sins. The revelation of
the hidden things in this life is so that those things revealed "then
become light", i.e. that there is real change and transformation. The
revelation of hidden things at the last day will be too late. And we have
noted throughout this section that Paul envisages a radical transformation
now of darkness to light; he who steals now gives to the needy, the curser
instead utters words of grace etc.
5:14 Therefore it is said: Awake, you that sleep, and arise from the
dead and Christ shall shine upon you- At baptism, we were "quickened
together with Christ" (Col. 2:13). But Paul wrote this to the baptized
saints at Ephesus. As in Romans 6, he is asking them to live out in
practice what they are by status. It is thought that Paul is quoting here
from a first century baptism hymn; he is encouraging them to be as it were
baptized again, spiritually, in coming to life in Christ. Note that the
Ephesians were active in the outward work of the Truth (Rev. 2:2,3); but
their real spiritual man was asleep. The resurrection from the dead with
Christ at baptism was by the work of the Spirit; the same Spirit that
resurrected Him likewise gives us internal new life in the Spirit (Rom.
8:11). That life will therefore have the Lord Jesus as the light, ever
searching out our hidden things. After 'arising from the dead', the light
of "Christ shall shine upon you". Paul has already prayed that the eyes of
the Ephesians will be enlightened (1:18); he sees them as needing to arise
with Christ and have His searching light shine upon them.
and arise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you,
the sun of resurrection,
begotten before the morning star,
who gives life by his very own rays.
5:15 Therefore, look carefully how you walk, not as the unwise but as
the wise- "Carefully" is better "diligently", and is the same word
used about Apollos who was "diligent" or 'careful' in his faith at
Ephesus, and would have been known to the initial readership (Acts 18:25).
Our way of life is not to simply left at a default position, as it is with
most people. Life in Christ is to be consciously lived, examined and
adjusted consciously. This is the true wisdom; the wise of this world are
spiritually unwise, which thought provides yet another connection with the
early chapters of Romans (Rom. 1:14,22). James 3:13 likewise defines "the
wise" as those who live in practice a spiritual life.
5:16 Redeeming the time, because the days are evil- They should
hurry up and make the changes Paul and their status in Christ require of
them. In contexts regarding the evil of our surrounding world, Paul
teaches us to 'redeem the time' (also Col. 4:5). This is a word
classically used of the market place, in the sense of 'buying up' while
the opportunity is there. But it is used of how the Lord has redeemed us
(Gal. 3:13; 4:5). His redemption of us elicits a conscious redemption by
us of our time, in His service. Yet the context demands that this pressing
need to buy up time be understood in the light of the evil world around
us. Is it not that Paul is saying 'Buy up all the opportunities to gain
back time from this world', in the same spirit as he told slaves "If thou
mayest be made free, use it rather" (1 Cor. 7:21)? This means we shouldn't
glorify the use of time for the necessary things of the world. If we
must spend our time in the things of the world, as the NT slaves
simply had to, then God will accept this as done in His service. But we
shouldn't use this gracious concession to do all we can in the life of the
world, justifying it by saying it is done 'unto the Lord'. This
concession, in its context, only applies to those who by force of
circumstances really must spend their time in the things of the world
(Eph. 6:5-7; 1 Cor. 10:31). We must "break up our fallow ground" (Heb.
'plough the unploughed'), analyse ourselves from outside ourselves, and
use our time and our “all things” to the utmost of their potential (Jer.
4:3; Hos. 10:12). We were created "unto good works, which God hath before
ordained that we should walk in them" (Eph. 2:10); we were redeemed that
we might be zealous of good works (Tit. 2:14)- not that we might drift
through life playing with our hobbies and with the fascinations of our
careers.
"Because the days are evil" may be a reference to the day of evil coming
upon the world in AD70, which Paul expected to be the second coming of the
Lord Jesus. His idea would then be that because the Lord's coming draws
near, we should therefore use our time the more wisely. Col. 4:5 parallels
this passage by asking us to redeem our time in the context of walking
wisely towards outsiders, and perhaps the idea is that we should use our
time in witnessing to them the more intensely as we see time running out
for this world.
5:17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the
Lord is- Paul is asking baptized believers not to be foolish, but to
be wise by understanding the Lord's will. The reference seems to be to the
Lord's urging of those who know their Lord's will to prepare themselves
for His return (Lk. 12:47). The foolish servant was getting drunk rather
than serving the Lord's extended family (Lk. 12:43-45); and Paul goes on
to speak of precisely those kinds of weaknesses (:18). We see here a call
to seek understanding of what the Lord's will is for each of us
personally, what specific service He hopes for in us and has potentially
enabled; which good works He has "before ordained that we should walk in
them" (Eph. 2:10).
5:18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be
filled with the Spirit- Paul always offers an alternative to sinful
behaviour, reflecting the Hebrew idea of 'holiness', which means both
separation from [sin] and separation unto spiritual
behaviour. Instead of alcoholism, being filled with hard spirits, we are
to be filled with the Spirit. Remember he was writing to those already
baptized, who had been given the Spirit at baptism. But we can be further
filled with the Spirit, if we allow that to happen. The Greek asotia
["debauchery"] is literally 'not-saving'. Alcoholics can be saved; but the
behaviours associated with alcoholism, as with any sin, are not the way to
salvation. Filling with the Spirit is the answer to the alcoholic life,
and has been witnessed many times in the transformation of alcoholics.
Earlier in Ephesians we have read of being filled with God's fullness
through the gift of the Spirit (Eph. 1:23; 3:19; 4:10). This filling will
as it were displace the alcoholic life- for a whole new vista of existence
is opened up. Clearly there were alcoholics in the Ephesian church, and
Paul doesn't advise their excommunication, but rather urges transformation
by the Spirit. Paul was keen for others to copy John the Baptist, to find
in him the inspiration which he too had found. So he encourages his
Ephesians not to drink wine but instead be filled with the Spirit- the
very language of John (Lk. 1:15). In other words, 'Be like that
Spirit-filled zealot John rather than enjoying the sloppy pleasures of
this life!'.
There are clear parallels between Col. 3:16 and Eph. 5:18,19: "Let the
word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and
admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing
with grace in your hearts to the Lord… but be filled with the Spirit; Speaking
to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making
melody in your heart to the Lord; Giving thanks always for all things unto
God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ”. Clearly the
Word of Christ is equated with being "filled with the Spirit". This
is not to create a primitive, direct connection between 'word' and
'Spirit'. The word of Christ refers to the simple message that if we
believe in Him, we shall be saved. And as a result, the Spirit of Christ
fills our hearts (Gal. 4:5,8).
5:19 Speaking to one another in Psalms and hymns and spiritual songs,
singing and making melody to the Lord with all your heart- On :17 we
detected reference to the parable of the servant who was to focus upon
caring for others in the household rather than getting drunk. The opposite
to the selfishness of alcohol abuse is to care for others; to be filled
instead with the Spirit in order to speak to one another in spiritual
terms. We noted on 4:29 and 5:4 that the antidote to swearing and
blasphemy was to speak to the grace of others; it is our commitment to
others which will motivate the changes required. This is exactly why we
need the church, interaction with others and taking responsibility for
assisting their spiritual path. And that should be precisely why we attend
church or are involved with other believers- in order to contribute to
them.
The Greek translated "to make melody" means 'to twitch or twang, i.e. to
play on a stringed instrument' (Strong)- evidently it's a musical term.
The implication is that we should so know our own heart and spend time in
communion with our own mind that we know how to rouse our own feelings in
praise. Such self-knowledge is a sure antidote to fleshly thinking. So by
all means get into Christian music; “speaking to yourselves (a reference
to self-talk? Although it likely means 'speaking to each other') in psalms
and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to
the Lord” (Eph. 5:19 AV).
5:20 Giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the
name of our Lord Jesus Christ- Gratitude is again cited as an antidote
to the selfishness of alcoholism and other unspirituality. That gratitude
is not to be occasional but "always and for everything", a worldview that
is grateful for all things, praising in the heart (see on :19).
5:21 Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ- Another
help against alcoholism and the life of the flesh is to see the Christ in
others. We will submit to others in that they too are representatives of
the Lord Jesus. The carnal mind, from which arises alcoholism and all
unspirituality, is not subject to the spirit of Christ (Rom. 8:7);
submission to Him means having His spirit within us, and so we will not be
submissive to the mind of the flesh. 1 Cor. 15:28 suggests that all things
are undergoing a progressive process of submission to the Lord Jesus, and
when this is achieved, then the Lord Jesus will be enthroned fully in
glory. This could mean that when the body of Christ is sufficiently
submissive to Him, when spiritual fruit is ready for harvest, then He will
come. And whilst the number of true believers appears to be in decline in
the world, it would seem that true spirituality amongst them is on the
increase. "All things" have been submitted under the Lord Jesus (1:22
s.w.), but we are to live this out in practice by submission to Him in our
minds and living. Heb. 2:8 uses the same word in explaining that God has
indeed "put all things in subjection under His feet... but now we
see not yet all things subjected under Him".
5:22 Wives, submit to your husbands, as to the Lord- This is a
specific example of the principle of :21; we should submit to all in the
Lord's body "out of reverence for Christ", because each member represents
Him. Women were to see in their husbands the representation of the Lord
Jesus, just as all members of the church were to see it in each other.
Perhaps Paul particularly mentions the case of women because there may
have been a tendency in Ephesus for women not to respect their believing
husbands.
5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife and Christ is the head of
the church- himself being the saviour of the body- The general
principle of submission to each other in Christ, which includes men to
women in Christ, doesn't mean that the woman is not to regard the
believing husband as not being "the head". But Paul carefully balances
against abuse of this by emphasizing that it is Christ who is Himself the
saviour of all his body. The husband is not the saviour, but is of course
to manifest that passion for salvation to his wife.
5:24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so the wives should also
be to their husbands in everything- The AV adds, following other
manuscripts, "to their own husbands", as if there was a tendency
for women to be subject to other men or teachers, instead of their
husbands. This subjection to the husband is in response to his attempt to
love the wife with the self-sacrificial love of the Lord Jesus for us all
(:25). Perceiving any realistic attempt at emulating that should elicit
respect and submission in that the woman perceives that the husband's game
plan and intention is her salvation. These principles therefore apply only
to man and woman in Christ; there is no suggestion here that males per
se are to be submitted to by females simply by reason of their gender.
5:25- see on Gal. 2:20.
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave
himself up for it- The Greek for “gave
himself" is mainly used of the Lord Jesus giving up the spirit to the
Father. We have shown elsewhere that His death was as an act of the will,
He gave up His life rather than it being taken away from Him. This
matchless peak of self-control and self-giving for us must somehow be
replicated in the humdrum of daily domestic relationships. No wonder
therefore that Paul urges the wife to respond to the husband's attempt to
reach this level with respect and submission.
The Lord carried our sins "that we, being dead to sin, should live
unto righteousness: by whose stripes (Gk. wheals- Peter saw them) you were
healed" (1 Pet. 2:24). The husband should love his wife, "even as Christ
also the church; because we are members of his body" (Eph. 5:30 RV). Jesus
loved us as much as He loves Himself; He "cannot be separated from the
work which He came to do" (R.R.). He saved Himself so as to save us. And
this isn't just atonement theology- this is to be lived out in married
life. As Christ died for us and gave up His last breath for us, so as a
supreme act of the will, the husband must give up his life for his woman.
And she can only but respond to this. These are high ideals. But the very
height of them can transform human life in practice.
5:26 That he might sanctify it, having cleansed it by the washing of
water with the word- The allusion is to the laver, the large bath in
which the priests washed in order to be sanctified and able to serve in
the tabernacle. The Lord's death was to purify us so that we might serve;
and the thoughtful love of the husband for the wife is likewise aimed at
providing her opportunities to serve. There is clearly an allusion to
baptism; the Lord died so that we might be washed in baptism, so that we
might be sanctified and thereby ready for His usage, prepared unto all
good works (2 Tim. 2:21). This guiding of the wife into the Lord's service
is part of a husband's love for his believing wife.
5:27 That he might present the church to himself in splendour, without
spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and blameless-
"To Himself" suggests that indeed beauty is in the eye of the beholder;
the Lord Jesus aims through His love, death and work with us to present
the church without spot in His eyes. The final salvation of the wife is
likewise to be the husband's aim. And in that process, despite the
wrinkles of passing years, he will come to see his wife increasingly as
"without spot". This is the very opposite direction to the thrust and
direction of secular relationships, in which men tend to hanker after the
young and physically unwrinkled. In Christ, there comes an increasing
respect and positive view of our partners, matched by increasing respect
on the part of the wife. This dynamism and growth in perception and
respect ought to be the hallmark of true Christian marriage.
5:28 Thus husbands ought also to love their wives as their own bodies.
He that loves his own wife loves himself- This and :29 are not an
appeal to selfishness, as if men ought to love their wives because
actually they are loving themselves by so doing. The Lord Jesus joins
together husband and wife as one flesh (:21). The husband who is willingly
part of this process will therefore not separate his own agendas and aims
from those of his wife. Love of the partner becomes love of self in that
the two are joined as one by the Lord's process of binding the two parties
together.
5:29- see on Rom. 6:19.
For no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it, even
as Christ also the church-
See on :28. There is of course self harm and self hatred especially in our
mixed up world. But the idea that nobody hates themselves was common in
the classical writers. Curtius, “Corporibus nostris quoe utique non
odimus” - “We do not hate those things that pertain to our own
bodies”; Seneca “Fateor insitam nobis esse corporis nostri charitatem”
- “I confess that there is implanted in us the love of our own body". It
could be that Paul is alluding to these ideas, not completely correct as
they are, and building an argument upon them. The Bible is unafraid to do
this, without footnoting, as it were, that there is an error in the
original idea. The usage of the language of demons is typical. But another
option in interpretation arises from considering that "hated" can mean 'to
love less', as in Lk. 14:26. The Lord Jesus did not love us less than
himself, and neither should the husband love his wife less than himself.
The Lord's personal salvation was tied up in ours; as Robert Roberts put
it, His death was "for Himself that it might be for us". And the husband's
salvation likewise. The unity between man and woman is such that he will
not separate his salvation from that of his wife. They are on the journey
together. Hence "flesh" is used instead of "body" because of the allusion
to God's joining of man and woman as one flesh (Gen. 2:23). Nourishing and
cherishing refer to nurturing with a view to growth (Eph. 6:4; 1 Thess.
2:7). This nourishing is provided by the Lord to the body in the form of
the Spirit, which is administered through the various members of the body
(Eph. 4:16; Col. 2:19). And so likewise the husband should be the
spiritual nourishment for his wife; but each member of the body should be
likewise for the others, including the wife for the husband.
5:30 Because we are members of his body- The man represents Christ,
and the woman the ecclesia. But the ecclesia, all of it, is the
body of Christ; so in this sense husbands should love their wives "as
their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever
yet hated his own flesh" (5:28,29). The more we appreciate the strength
and power of typology, the more we will realize the spiritual unity which
there should be between brethren and sisters. The physical body of Christ
is not divided- there is only one Jesus in Heaven. If brethren represent
Christ and sisters typify His body, then there should be no division-
either between husbands and wives, or amongst brethren and sisters within
Christ's body. Thus marriage breakdowns and internal ecclesial strife are
equally wrong- they both spoil the typology presented in Eph. 5. They
effectively tear Christ's body apart, as men tried to do on the cross. We
say tried to" because ultimately Christ's body is indivisible- in the same
way as in a sense His body was "broken" (as it is by division in the
body), whilst in another sense it remained unbroken, in God's sight.
Likewise, the ecclesial body in God's sight is even now not divided- we
are one in Christ.
The figure of being somebody's body could not be more intense and
personal, indeed it almost alludes to the sex act itself. You touch your
own body, feel your bones beneath your flesh- that's fundamentally you.
Whilst of course Christ does have a separate bodily existence, we are
fundamentally Christ. Without us and our sin, Christ would not have come
into existence, nor would He now exist. Joseph’s brothers said: "He is our
brother and our flesh" (Gen. 37:27). And some manuscripts here add: "We
are members of his body, of his flesh and of his bones" (Eph. 5:30 AV).
5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall
cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh- "For this
cause" is hard to interpret. Because of what? Does Paul mean that the
whole marriage and bonding process is to teach us of our personally
becoming one with the Lord Jesus? The special psychological bonding which
is given by God whereby two persons become one, over time, therefore
points to the work of the Spirit in the life of the individual who is
attached to Christ. And as there must be a leaving of the family of
origin, so there is to be a leaving of previous spiritual associations.
That point had to be emphasized to the new converts to whom Paul wrote, be
they from paganism or Judaism.
The radical value attached to every individual in Christ is brought out
especially by the New Testament teaching about family life. There were
many pagan 'household codes', which basically exhorted the slaves,
children and women to be subordinate to the male leaders of the family.
Paul frames his family teaching in exactly the terms of these 'household
codes' in order to bring out the significant differences between God's way
and the way of society in this vital area. The fact Paul and Peter in
their 'household codes' speak of the head of the house being submissive
and having responsibilities to love, as an act of the will, was quite
radical. But those male leaders had to learn that in Christ, everyone
matters, and people can't be treated by their brethren as they are by
society generally, as nothing and nobody, mere cogs in a machine. The
familia, or extended family in contemporary thought, was of itself
devaluing to persons. A woman married into her husband's extended family,
and effectively lost so much of her uniqueness as an individual- indeed
women were so often treated as faceless. But Paul teaches, on the sure
foundation of Genesis, that a man should leave his parents and
cleave to his wife (Eph. 5:31). This was far more radical than may now
appear. The man was being taught that merely perpetuating the extended
family, using the woman you received in your arranged marriage in order to
continue and expand the family, was not in fact God's way. He was to
leave that extended family mindset and personally cleave to his
wife in love- love which was an act of the will. He was to start a new
family unity; to love his wife rather than his extended family "as
himself". Likewise fathers are told to bring their children up in the
instruction of the Lord Jesus (Eph. 6:4)- when the task of training up
children was left to the women, older children and slaves (especially the
paidagogos) in the extended family. The value of persons implicit
here was thus a call to be essentially creative, independent, perceiving
the personal [rather collectively-imposed] value in both oneself and
others in ones' family.
“God hath tempered the (ecclesial) body together... that there
should be no schism in the body" (1 Cor. 12:24,25 AV) uses a related word
as in Eph. 5:31 concerning how a man "shall be joined unto his
wife... I speak concerning Christ and the church". Because both man and
woman ultimately represent Christ, there should be no schism between
either believers, nor husbands and wives. Husbands and wives become "one
flesh". But "flesh" is almost equivalent to "body" (see Eph. 2:15,16; Col.
1:22)- their union of "one flesh" is parallel to the union of the “one
body" within the ecclesia. We should all be "perfectly joined
together (marriage language) in the same mind" (1 Cor. 1:10). Recall how
“Israel joined himself unto Baalpeor" (Num. 25:3) in a sexual
context. Hos. 9:10 comments on this as meaning that Israel "Separated
themselves unto" Baalpeor. We cannot be 'joined to' something unless we
are 'separated from' something else. If we are truly joined to Christ and
each other, we must be separated from idolatry. It is impossible to
experience this 'joining' with believers who are not 'separated'- one
cannot be 'joined' in intercourse to more than one person. We cannot
serve two masters without hating God.
5:32 This mystery is great, but I speak in regard of Christ and of the
church- The idea of "mystery" has been used earlier in Ephesians
concerning the strange and profound unity possible between Jew and Gentile
in Christ. The idea of two becoming one has been used earlier about the
unity of Jew and Gentile in the body of Christ, the church. The bond
between persons enabled by the Spirit is indeed a mystery which has now
been exhibited in practice. This is why the Lord in Jn. 17 spoke of the
unity which His sacrifice would enable as something new, unique and
powerfully persuasive as a witness in this world. The connection with the
language of Jew-Gentile unity is to make the point as noted on :31- that
unity within the church is to be reflected between believing partners.
5:33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the
wife see that she respects her husband- The simple practical point is
that the love of the husband for the wife, after the pattern of the Lord's
love for the church on the cross, is to elicit respect from the wife to
the husband. This addresses the female need for love and the male need for
respect- and it all reflects the far higher level of the Lord's love for
us and our submission towards Him.
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